At the Vancouver Peace Summit, the Dalai Lama said something that ricocheted around the globe. He said that he is a feminist. And he opined that Western women will save the world. How will we do that, you might ask. We will do it by knowing ourselves and acting from the truer knowledge of who we are as feminine creatures on this planet.
There are many inspirational quotes about knowing thyself. From Socrates to the Apostle John to Ann Landers and Debbie Ford, all urge us to know our true self so that we can master our lives. To really know ones’ self, it helps to know our physical origins as well as our emotion and spiritual origins. Our foundations are what we stand on. And many women and men are not aware of the main stages of a women’s life. When we realize the true and innate capabilities of women, we will see how they can balance and shape our lives and the entire planet in a healthier way. This is NOT a competitive statement between women and men. It is an urgent statement saying it is time to realize women for all they are in our personal, professional and global lives. In general, we hold women back from being all they are naturally capable of being.
In ancient, indigenous and tribal times, knowing, respecting and allowing women’s abilities and cycles to flourish, life was more manageable, peaceful and productive. To our modern-day minds, this may sound archaic or even absurd. However, I urge us all to look at what may be truth. The following is a brief description of the three main stages of the Feminine. Look and allow yourself to hear from a space that knows we need change on our planet.
A women’s first stage is as Maidens. We are born with never ending imagination and blossoming energy. Chronologically, a Maiden is the time from birth till adolescence. Maidens are little girls! They have imaginary friends, questions about everything and their minds are open to fantasy as reality. In our society we are taught that as we grow up, we should put away our fantasies and childlike ideals. What a shame this is. Now, fast forward to our 21st century and we are studying the ‘Law of Attraction’ in hopes of re-learning how to use our imaginations to create our reality. We were never intended to lose who we were as maidens. Maidenhood forms the foundation by which we learn how to manifest life. All our life stages are meant to reside and live on within us. In life’s plan, a child is as important as an adult and an adult is as important as an elder.
As we reach adolescence, we begin the process of moving into our Mother stage. Mother takes on many meanings NOT just the miraculous job of birthing and raising a child. Consider that women are capable of birthing and raising life on an intellectual, social, professional and personal level. They embody all of life. The duration of this stage may be the longest most powerful period of our lives. Physically, our bodies start to mature. Unfortunately, someone says, “It’s time to put your toys aside” and there is often a grieving that goes on internally that is never recognized. We find ourselves in therapy years later trying to heal the child within. It’s complicated yet for generations we’ve been silent about this pivotal part of being a woman. It’s like we ignore EVERYTHING?! No wonder women lose their identity. In the United States and in a heterosexual marriage, a woman gives up her last name to her spouse. First, we lose our identity in adolescence and then we secure that loss in discarding our name. It’s subliminal, yet powerful. It may make it easier for paperwork, but it wreaks havoc on our self- knowing and self worth.
When a young womyn starts her bleeding cycle, she is innately forced, not by humanity, but rather by nature, to become responsible. There is no getting away from it. Each of us becomes responsible for, at the very least, the calendar. We make sure to plan our lives around our cycle. Our weddings, vacations, parties and even a day at the beach is all wrapped up in knowing our cycle. Our bodies, minds and spirits are constantly in flux. Responsibility and management are designed into our physiology. Consider these innate attributes in business or in global affairs.
As I’ve said before, entire tribes and communities created their calendars to follow the cycles of the moon and the cycle of the women’s bodies. The Sun calendar that we follow today is a disconnect from our natural rhythms.
In the Mother stage of life, the feminine creature is also designed to multi-task. Allow yourselves to imagine back to pre-historic years, think of our ancient ancestors. We gave birth and instinctively took care of the little creatures. If we ignored them, they would surely die. Our brains were developed to think for two or more. It wasn’t a choice. It was necessary for life to continue.
One of the differences between the female and male brain is the use of the white and gray matter that the brain is made up of. The female brain uses more of the ‘white’ matter. It is this white matter that allows us to be more intuitive to our surroundings. (While this is scientific fact, I do not like to totally generalize. There are many men that are sensitive to their surroundings and of course, there are women who are insensitive to others. It’s just not as common). This white matter is what allows us to be more verbally expressive.
Another quality of our Mother years is the fullness and power of our energy and vibration. Whether we choose to have children or not, we go into a state of self-sacrifice and nurture for the sake of keeping something alive. That something will birth and nurture our careers, our lovers, our hobbies, our homes and our communities.
When we are ignorant of the dynamics of the mother stage of life, we can misinterpret our desire to self-sacrifice and nurture and unfortunately, we may tend to think it is our only way of being. We easily get caught up in the idea that women were meant to think of themselves last or second to the thing or person that we are nurturing. This is a distorted understanding of what it is to be a woman. Knowing our truer HerStory can assist us in evolving into a new more accurate paradigm and a healthier version of womanhood.
The Mother years are powerfully filled with vital life energy. Women in their mother stage collaborating on any project, personal, professional or communal, flow through the tasks at hand and reach their goals with ease. Women as activists, inventors, teachers, politicians and all other careers are most energetically powerful during their mother years. As women, we are learning to honor women in all the roles that we play. The more we do this; the more we teach others to honor women, the more this planet will reflect harmony and balance.
It is also evident to me that women isolate and overwork themselves with little to no emotional and physical reward. They push and push and push to do more and more and more on their own. The old commercial, ‘I can run our home, bring home the bacon and never let you forget you’re a man’ is fun and true and it is killing us! We were not meant to do it alone. Women are designed to group. Those coffee cloches are not just playtime. There is an exchange of powerful feminine energy and oxytocin and knowledge that allows us to grow each other naturally. When we come together in our efforts, each walk away fuller, happier and rejuvenated to bring forth more healthy energy for all.
Chronologically, we begin our Crone years when our bleeding stops. Just like the other two stages of our Feminine life, it doesn’t happen overnight. There are emotional changes, physical changes and spiritual changes that gradually move us from self-sacrifice and constant nurture to a more self-concerned way of being. In this society, it is unfortunate that we can go through an enormous feeling of guilt as we innately don’t want to take care of everyone or everything anymore. It is confusing when we don’t realize that we are simply complete with that stage. We don’t go back to maidenhood and a feeling of care free; however, we notice that innately we want offspring and spouses to take care of themselves while we tend to ourselves more.
Cronehood is a time of personal freedom and reflection. It’s a time to look over our lives and our lessons and embrace all we’ve learned. A wise Crone is someone to look to for her well-earned wisdom. She no longer has anything to prove. It’s her time to give back. This is a perfect position for political and familial guidance and not a nursing home!
An article can only accomplish tapping the surface of any subject. I encourage you to read, explore and discover different knowledge that can help change the paradigm we live in. My suggestion for your further reading is ‘Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. author of The Urgent message from Mother. Gather the Women, Save the World.